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Archive for the 'News' Category

Sex With A Picnic Table? Why Not.

Monday, March 31st, 2008

Police in Ohio say that a married father of three has confessed to repeatedly having sex with his patio picnic table.
Art Price, Jr., 40, has been charged with four counts of public indecency after a neighbor videotaped him getting all nasty with the umbrella hole in the middle of his plastic picnic table. Apparently preferring […]

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Ready for this one?  Sex dolls formed in the likenesses of Jessica Alba, Eva Longoria, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Simpson and Sarah Jessica Parker.  This is sure to bring about a ton of debate and litigation.  Just how closely do these plastic partners measure up to there unobtainable superstar counterparts?  If Pipedream (link NSFW) products would […]

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This Time the Devil May Care Mr. Bond

Wednesday, March 12th, 2008

Not to be confused with the Devil May Cry video game series; Devil May Care is the new James Bond novel penned by Sebastian Faulks.  This novel comes six years after  Raymond Benson put down the mantle; and although Faulks’ novel is only a one off it’s a welcome return to have Bond back in […]

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TSA, You Suck

Monday, March 10th, 2008

The TSA has been known to take issue with products designed in Cupertino before, but for one particular traveler, it was Apple’s thinnest laptop ever that caused the latest holdup. Upon tossing his ultra-sleek MacBook Air underneath the scanner, security managed to find enough peculiarities to remove it from the flow, pull it aside and […]

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Going Blind but not from Masturbating

Monday, March 10th, 2008

THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: At least 50 people in Kottayam district have reportedly lost their vision after gazing at the sun looking for an image of Virgin Mary.
Though alarmed health authorities have installed a signboard to counter the rumour that a solar image of Virgin Mary appeared to the believers, curious onlookers, including foreign travellers, have been thronging […]

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Recycle or go to Hell

Monday, March 10th, 2008

Failing to recycle plastic bags could find you spending eternity in Hell, the Vatican said after drawing up a list of seven deadly sins for our times.
The seven, which include polluting the environment, were announced by Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, a close ally of the Pope and the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, one of the […]

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Spreading America’s Good Name

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

It’s a sad day to be ACOJ’s foreign correspondent. In the video below a US soldier tosses a puppy off a clip. Now I don’t know if this video is real or not; and frankly I don’t care. Its validity is a mute point in my book. This is the kind of behavior that has […]

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Hamburg Airport - No Longer My Favorite

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

I frequently fly in and out of Hamburg and it is honestly my favorite airport in the world; clean, efficient and a location set for Tomorrow Never Dies. Often times I’ve had flights land late to do cross winds or have been subject to some tricky stomach turning landings because of them. The following video […]

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I continue to weep for the future.

Saturday, March 1st, 2008

For those of you who have been a part of the bold experiment that is “A Circle of Jerks” from episode one, you will remember our very first story about the three twentysomething stoners who taunted a tiger at the San Francisco Zoo and got royally pwned.
Now, if for some reason you never learned that […]

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